Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Randomize
