ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
