he puts the penis in happiness.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize