I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
