Pappa wants mamma naked
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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