WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize