somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
try to milk me bitch
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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