Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
