so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
