i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
