you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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