i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
