some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Randomize
