I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
