So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
