I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
