we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
