i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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