Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
