Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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