I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
