you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
