the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
