The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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