just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
