Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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