I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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