i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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