If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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