im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I looked at my own cervix.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
