I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
