just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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