Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
