do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
