When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
high people should be assigned attendants
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
