I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My ATM looks so different sober.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
