I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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