see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
