D3 body, D1 cock
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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