so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm really busy with my period
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