I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
