Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
