when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
