After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
