you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
