Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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