he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
