the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
