Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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