You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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