i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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