If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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