So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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