well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
