Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
