i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
