youre lurking in front of me
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
