you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
