Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
