You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
