There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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